Pekingese: The mush-faced dictators

We’ve had several different kinds of dogs in our lives.  I used to breed Irish Setters and Cocker Spaniels.  When I was growing up, we had a toy poodle that I thought was the worst dog in the universe.  Everyone in town agreed with us.  But then I met the venerable Pekingese.

We got Gizmo and Ginger about a year ago.  They were tiny puppies, no more than half a pound and they had the cutest little mushed faces you’ve ever seen.  I was warned about Pekingese from the start.  There are entire articles that expound upon their character flaws, ranging from stubbornness, stupidity and disobedience.  Nothing could have prepared me for these two tiny tyrrants.

Our previous dog, a Maltese named Rocky, was playful, smart, cuddly when called for, and above all, well-trained in the cute tricks that make humans love dogs.  The dog before that, our Pitbull named Elvis, was so well-trained that I could place his body in any position and tell him “freeze” and he would stay that way until released.

No such luck with Ginger and Gizmo.  After a year of intensive training, neither one will perform on command.  They won’t do a simple trick like “shake” and repeated commands to lie down result only in a stare that I can equate only to that of a petulant teenager.

Ginger is the really stupid one.  Every time you take her outside, you bring her back to the same door, open the door to the same width, and in every case she will run face-first into the door.  It’s not her eyesight.  She can see a person walking down the sidewalk a hundred yards away.  She’s just THAT stupid.

You can’t train them.  They’re stupid and stubborn and choose to ignore you and be punished for it rather than obey.  I know they understand what I’m saying to them because if I use the word “treat” or “cookie”, they’re all over that.  But when it comes to commands, they just blink.

Aside from that, they quite simply hate all humans.  They bark and snarl and growl.  Gizmo will actually attack and bite, so we can’t let him near other people.  No matter how many times, they see you, if you aren’t part of the core family, they bark every time you move.  That means approximately 30 good barking fits a day…or night as the case may be.

The male still pees in the house.  The female still has a penchant for eating everything on the floor, including dust bunnies and any bits of paper she can get her teeth on.  Then she throws up all the next day.

Our evenings are now spent rangling the dogs.  We have to get up from our chairs and pull the dogs away from whatever thing they’ve gotten into that they’re not supposed to.  I hear what you’re saying, “Why don’t you just remove the offending articles from the room?”  That’s all well and good but we would quite literally have to remove every single thing from the room, including carpet, drapes, furniture and some doors.

These fussy little spawns of Satan have been the bane of our existence for the entire year that we’ve had them.  I don’t see any hope for them in the foreseeable future.  We’ve even invested heavily in good anti-bark collars with no results at all.  When the collar goes off, they lose it, jumping and screaming and snarling at it.  Then they won’t bark again as long as the collar is on.  The minute you relieve them of the collar, it’s business as usual: Barking at every single thing that moves.  The problem with these collars is that the battery life is about 5 days on one of these little tyrants.  And the batteries are pretty expensive.

So, if you want a nice pal, man’s best friend as it were, you’d best not invest in a Pekingese.  Aside from being ugly and stupid, they’re stubborn as the day is long and quite destructive.  With their long, constantly shedding hair and shrill screaching bark, they are more suited to a Guantanamo Bay sort of torture than a home environment.  Their eyes run, they have a myriad of health problems and their total lack of cooperation means a lifetime of chasing them down, scolding them, keeping one eye always on them.

Having a Pekingese in the house has made me totally lose my taste for having a dog.  A nice bird or fish would be better suited to a calm family life.  A screech owl would be more calming.

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2 Responses to “Pekingese: The mush-faced dictators”

  1. WendyB Says:

    I just stumbled across this…hope your dogs settled down! I have a great time with my Peke (my 2nd one) who is quietly sitting under my feet right now acting like an ottoman. He doesn’t bark but he sure is stubborn. About the only command he obeys after four years is “sit.” But he’s definitely smart. He’s sure trained us well!

  2. GTR Says:

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. We have a 4 month old Pom puppy whose behaviour is very similar to what you describe. We hope it’s just his age; they’re meant to be an intelligent dog but we’re not sure if he’s just been dealt stupid genes.

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